Sunday, July 29, 2007

These are the acts of a rogue individual

We believe that these are the acts of a rogue individual criminal. I would like to plainly state that we do not believe they are the acts of NBA players or our employees. Let me be clear, in this case NBA players are the victims, not the criminals. Please don't be confused.

Oh and Bud and Roger, you do know the NBA Hall of Fame was redone just a couple years back right? Take a look, it's big and beautiful baby.

Do you think he has ever been to Canton?

Best hall of fame in all of sports? Who is he kidding, seriously, it smells like an old age home....I think I am going to personally invite Bud to come join me in Canton to see what a real hall looks like.

Congratulations to Mr. Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn

Today is a great day for baseball. I am not sitting out in San Francisco but am in Cooperstown watching and enjoying two of the classiest men in baseball history enter the best hall of fame in all of sports. So thank you Cal and Tony for giving us one day where we can ignore the performance enhancing controversy.

Um ok never mind, he's not even in baseball anymore can't he shut up?

Friday, July 27, 2007

Notice that there are no hockey players on this list

First sign that the "incident" is affecting the NFL....

I have to admit this is becoming worse then I thought. Players are reporting (or not) for training camp and yet there is an article about the BCS on deadspin right now. Where are my public relations people? It's NFL season everybody, shouldnt holdouts, dogfighting and Tom Brady's illegitimate children be the story right now?

Best Week Ever.....

I mean uh, this is not the best week ever....screw it, who am I trying to fool. Bud, Gary, David I am sorry but this might be the single best week ever for the sport of hockey. Fans come on board the hockey train we are going straight to the top! New rules I am considering for next year involve using UFC rules for all on ice fights and paying referees $2 million per season to ensure that all games are legit.

I will not allow my league to turn into the NFL, nobody speaks without permission!

Didn't I send an e-mail last night banning all active players from speaking to the media? Somebody is getting suspended for this outright defiance!

Baseball is better then....

The Tour De France....That's right fans whenever you think that baseball is the worst sport when it comes to cheating just take a look at the Tour De France. At least we only have one leader accused of cheating, in the Tour it's all of them It's gotten so bad some people are suggesting we shoulod just let them cheat.

Well I'm off to go catch some Zzzzz's before Big B's next game.

What an idiot!

Seriously, do I really need this right now? Could this guy be any stupider? Where are my lawyers, can I suspend commentators and former players? Can't I apply my new policies to everyone? Aren't I the most powerful man in the most powerful sport?

All hail Commissioner Goodell

I have been advised not to comment....

My legal team has advised me that I can not comment further on any future plans I may have to punish Michael Vick. So all I will say is that those deadspin guys are pretty smart.